Sullied, I am not.

There are sad bastards roaming this Earth whose primary purpose of living is to make other’s existence a nature’s joke. I encountered one of such yesterday. This brings me back to the time when I first don the uniform, close to 3 years ago. I drew a line that separates my emotions and logic. It was a line that saved me thousands of chances for uproars of hysterics and kept me sane. Practically, it saved me a lot of trouble too.

That is, if I learn to be a silent, suffering punching bag and still be able to smile at the fist that punches me.

But last night, while on duty, this veneer cracked. Though I do not regret a single verbal dagger I’ve treacherously thrown to your face, you stupid cow, I am penitent that I’ve crossed the boundary I painstakingly position and upkeep for the entire length of my career. Up till last night, I never knew what it was like to want something so bad that the entire body begins to shiver, knuckles turned white and an overwhelming feeling of acute revulsion for a fellow human being I never knew being as close to me like a 2nd breath I rather not take and suffocate. I want you and your likes dead, you sick, pathetic, degraded scum.

At this point, I am not okay.

But I will be.

Housekeeping!

Year end. Time to housekeep on admin issues which I've swept under the carpet since the start of the year.

1. Last year's leave balance (2 days) - Cleared!

2. This year's leave balance - 14 days (Untouched!)

3. Time off balance - 28 hours (abt 4 days)

I have a shopping trip with mum to Bangkok in Jan 08 and a short gastronomic trip across the causeway to KL with Tini right after. Clearly I can afford the time. (Ok even if I can't, I'll beg!)

Now, do I have enough greens to leave the borders....? Hmmm... Ok review.

1. Accumulated expenses thruout Eid (& uncontrollable spending spasms) offset by means of plastic (my line of credit - the men don't get it. Thank u UOB!!) - Paid! (Phew.)

2. The rumoured salary increase - Make it happen, dammit!!

3. The YEAR -END Bonus - This better be good. Else I'll leave the civil service n set up my own Starbucks!

4. Outstanding loans - Education loan reaching maturity < 1 Year. (We're almost there!)

5. Marriage funds? - Ok let's not go there.

Leave, checked! Moolah.... well... err... Checked! Ok now let's pack!

I'm kidding. It's only November.

I've packed in June.