5 days ago, I am where I am now. In a plane. waiting for take-off. A group of teenagers probably on their maiden trip with friends were seated just behind me. They infected me with their enthusiasm and I remembered feeling just as excited as they were despite this being my xth no of trips. Alone.

Then as I retrieved my bags from the carousel, I spotted a single red bag moving along the belt, uncollected. Maybe even abandoned. Quelling my unreasonable need to run thru customs to see his face, I told myself I am not abandoned. I am not alone. And I am not that single red bag.

Soekarno-Hatta's arrival hall was filled with a sea of faces and a symphony of voices. But none were comforting nor familiar to me. Feeling like a ridiculous lost child I turned to my left and there it was. The face I wanted to see. I am no longer abandoned. Cause I, too, have been collected.

So here I am. 5 amazing days on. As the cabin crew began their now-familiar safety drills, I have a flash of what my future will be like. Choosing to be with him means booking single seat on the airplane, lone walks through customs, heaving heavy luggage on my own and having only my own hands to clutch should the plane hits turbulence. Choosing him means having to wander thru many unfamiliar airports and trying to make sense of every unfamiliar custom regulations. Alone.

My plane is about to take off now. I have an irrepressible sudden need to cry. I am going home. This is the saddest I have been to leave a country that is not my own.As I pen this down, it hits me. I am willing to go thru the most stringent custom checks, hauled along the heaviest bags, waltz thru the longest/shortest, smallest/biggest, darkest/brightest airports and endure the worst turbulence... Just to get to where he's at. For the first time in my life, and I never thought I would say this, I am unconditionally in love with a man whose life is as important to me as my own.

I, Nur Fadhillah M G, who has never been so sure until now, am in love. So Mr Ifwalmi Nasution, I am answering you once again, Yes. Yes I will marry you. A million times over.

Love,
Nur Fadhillah M G, herewith also known as the future Nur Fadhillah Nasution.