Dear friends, all forms of socializing that may result in the use of plastic being swiped and my trembling hands forming an illegible scrawl, otherwise known as my signature, on a piece of seemingly innocent (God damn it they’re not) piece of paper, otherwise known as a receipt, will have to take a backseat for now as I attempt to rid myself of all forms of debt i.e. educational, car, credit etc in the next 6 months. Hence, by having it on black and white and publishing it on the World Wide Web (not a very wise move, I just realized, a little too late) I will, as humanely possible, try to avoid any unnecessary purchases till the above objective is met.

Prayers will be very much appreciated and any doubts of my achieving the above mission will be promptly disregarded with my Jimmy Choo’s inspired heels on your arse. (These heels may not be as comfortable as the real ones, but put them next to the real deal, you hardly see the difference. Except that the label on the insides read, “Jimmus Choos”.)