How much for the excesses?

I've never thought of excess baggage being anything more than that ONE extra piece of luggage that was "un-dutifully" tax-ed during my recent shopping trip to Bangkok.

Until I met Ron, whose idea of a stimulating conversation involves incessant references to the past women in his life that ends with a regretful sigh followed by either "Damn. She was worth it. But not anymore" or "Damn. I was worth all she got. But not anymore."

Either way, it spells out the same thing to me. This man has issues. Issues with every women with whom he had either (1) Kissed, (2) Dated or (3) Bedded.

Excuse my blatant tact. Or the obvious lack of it. I find this man so pathetic that throughout our 45 minutes coffee time, I had to excuse myself to the ladies THREE times and resort to excessive toilet roll wastage to surpress my urge of pulling up his tie and twirling it around his neck 5 times.

You see, he has this tendency to refer every topic of our conversation to the women in his past that seemed to have shared the same surname - THE EX. We would talk about something as banal as the Great Singapore Sale and then suddenly he would thought about THE EX, the one with long hair and unshaven legs, who adores Lychee Martini and eventually left him cos he apparently wasn't chivalrous enough. Get my point now?

His excess baggage or rather his inability at untying emotional strings came not only with an annoying price but sadly, it also degrades him as a person. Or a potential lover.

To give him his due credits, this guy is cute. He open doors, walked on the side of the traffic and paid for the entire date. (The last factor was important because lately, a loser I once knew admitted that he would only go out with women who picked up the tabs.) Somehow or rather, he must've missed reading the fine prints in the 1st date recipe. When it comes to matters of THE EX, less is definitely more.

But then again, at one point or another in our lives, there will be that inevitable amount of excess baggages. Its just how you carry and dispose the excesses that matters.

Some, like me and a few others I'm sure, carried our excesses for a few short miles before dumping it overboard because its simply not worth the time nor energy. While some, like Ron and a guy I once dated for quite a substantial number of months, lived their lives with one foot stuck in the rut in the past and hence, paying a hefty tax for it.

Pardon my smugness, but really, I don't see the point in carrying a past burden like you would carry a used tissue in the handbag. Used tissues belong in the dustbin and past issues belong... Well... In the past.

Albeit my very tender age, I think I am armed with enough experience to conclude that men (or women) who's past have become a constant reference in the future should, at all times, refrain from meeting someone new until he (or she) learns to untie their past emotional strings.

My personal experience includes being in a relationship (if you would call it a relationship) with a certain someone whose brain and heart ceased their function 3 years ago. Needless to say, I'm glad it didn't work out. Its with disdain amusement I realized that till date, that foot of his is still stuck in yesteryear. Pathetic. Really. The cupcake has expired, sweetheart. Time you move on.

I'll bitch another time.